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Then I shout, you don't hear me...
Your ears are deaf,
And your eyes are blind.
Can't you see how much
You hurt me?
I touch my shattered broken heart
Lying on the ground
I whisper to it softly,
"Shh.... It will be okay..."
And wish the pain away.
You glance at the scene from afar.
I narrow my eyes and prepare to shout
How much you hurt me emotionally
But only a whimper comes out.
So I bite my lip
And hold my heart
Hoping that it won't fall apart
In front of you
Because this pain
This hidden pain...
Is the one thing
I can't show to you.
Shattered GlassI'm fine.
I'm only walking on shattered glass.
I only have to step in it every day;
I ever liked you
Ever wanted you
Ever needed you
Next to me...
But each painful crunch is a reminder
Of why I cared for you
Why I liked you
And why I went so far only to have it
All shatter and break benath my feet.
So if you ask me how I'm doing
I'll say I'm fine
While gritting my teeth
At the pain of the shattered glass.
NumbMy thoughts of you have grown numb,
With a cold whisper fingering
My shivering heart
My perspective of you has changed,
Seeing finally who you
Really are inside
My feelings for you have morphed
To a numb understanding that
You will always
My fantasies and visions of you
Have disappeared entirely
Leaving only a
...causing the scar over my heart to go numb.
My Past SelfI met my past self today...
Was I really that naive?
So oblivious to what actually was going on
That I forgot to take a moment
It seems I twisted every detail
To make myself believe a lie
Of how a heart I yearned for
Might possibly be mine
Looking back now
It's crystal clear
I was the only one looking through
The rose stained glass
But now as I talk with
My past self
I want to save her...
Save her from the heartbreak
That was waiting around the corner.
NeverYou never told me you were sorry
Yet I never told you I wasn't fine.
You never bothered to look back
Yet I look back every day.
You never looked past the mask
Yet I try to keep my mask from crumbling.
You never thought it hurt this much
Yet it took me a while to heal from the wounds.
You never expected your rejection would affect me like this...
Yet I never expected it either.
You never realized how much you meant to me
Yet now I finally realize it's time to move on.
You never guessed how much a struggle it was for me to let you go
Yet at the final step of letting go,
I finally realized how much I cared for you
And that's what hurt the most.
Listen to My SilenceListen.
Listen to the quiet sobs in the night
And the whispers echoing in my ear.
Listen to the silent agony I suffer through daily.
Someone, please listen.
Listen to my troubled heart
That beats loudly in the stilled silence.
Listen to the choked back words
I yearn to say to you
But never do.
Listen to my dulled pleas
Screaming in my head
Trying to convince myself I'm alright.
False Lover's GlowPerhaps it was a lovely dream
In which my numb heart now lay
In fields of snow
And false lover's glow
My hopless heart was led astray
Through whispering dreams
And lingering thoughts
Of things never to be
My delicate heart thought that
It would be safe
Within a false lover's glow
But that glow was snuffed out
The night sky grew dark
My numb heart wandered aimlessly
Away from a false lover's glow.
We Were NothingAll we are
All we were
Was dusk upon a morning shore
In a fake reality
There was no us
There was no we
It was just a figment of my
Hopelessly romantic 'reality'
It's all so fake
It's all so numb
Why now does my mind
Shatter my reality?
A Penny for Her Thoughts"....no....n-no...don't leave...p-please.... don't go.... PAUL!!!!!!!!"
She jolts up in her bed. Tears pour down her flushed face. Our confused character draws the covers near to her beating heart, trying to breathe between the heavy sobs.
Rain patters on her window. She loves rain, but her sobs drown out the sound of it.
"It-it was only just a... A dream! A dream!" She's talking to herself quietly. It's a habit that began only a few months earlier. Her sobs have subsided for the moment. She's nervously running her hands through her hair. "He...he didn't reject me in real life... Not yet..."
Our unknown character is scared to death of being rejected once more. She was an innocent spirit in this darkened world, but one rejection forced her to come out of her shell and hurt.
"Shhh... It's okay... Take it easy girl..."
She rocks back and forth. Her thoughts are racing endlessly. Racing thoughts normally didn't end up well.
"Th-there's still a chan
MuteI rip out my vocal cords
One at a time
With no disregard towards
The blood and gore I'm
Getting on my rotting palms
No one cares anyways
They wouldn't care if I was dropping bombs
They're too wrapped up in their own days
Why make myself mute
Now they can't hear me complain
About my oh so very cute
And insignificant pain
Now they won't need
To suffer anymore
They will be freed
From me, only a constant sore
The Guardian is DeadTime unfolds, life moves on
from trading secrets to
empty spaces under mistletoe
It's that time of the year
when solitude lingers
where happiness once lay
When a six foot tree turns
into a pathetic branch
with a lonely star on top
Where presents once lay
bottles of whiskey have replaced
and Christmas carols are slurred
There was never an angel
as I was your light
or so you once said
There was never an angel
as you were my guardian
but that guardian is now dead
What I'm Not SayingLook in the mirror.
What do you see?
Surely that cannot be me!
For that girl looking back at me,
So sad and forlorn,
Is not how I’m meant to be!
I live in denial,
Pretending to be happy,
Pretending everything is alright.
Because to admit this love is a failure,
Would be to admit that I made a mistake;
And I cannot bear to hear “I told you it wouldn’t work”;
When all he does is work.
And as I check my messages for the hundredth time,
I cannot bear you not being mine.
So I will live miserably,
Just as long as you stay with me;
Because I can’t stand to lose you.
So I will take whatever I can get.
And hope things will get better.
Even though my heart says all is lost.
I know of winterI knew of the cold
that would slap me in the face
I knew of the ice
that would challenge my balance and grace
i new of the clouds
that would come from my mouth
I watched the birds
when they flew to warmer south
I knew of the laughter
I witnessed the fun
Even if the days were shorter
and less is seen of the sun.
Ah, ChaosOh confusion, give me a peace.
It's ironic in a way,
What puts me at ease.
No ease at all,
A crazy calm sea,
The winds to set sail,
Torn masts and a breeze.
Which way do I go?
Do I take another drink?
As much as I love this elixir,
Death promises nothing to me.
I'll tell all these tales,
Will any decipher my rhyme?
Will I find my destination,
To undo the paths of time?
As I said goodbye to a man,
And he topped me off with his hat,
I gave him a smile,
For I knew he would never come back.
the Tree (a lullaby)She put her doughter to sleep,
she sang a lullaby,
she gave her child a kiss,
she said: "Goodnight, my sky".
She tucked her baby in...
a cover made of ground
a scream resounded then,
a scream and no more sound.
When her groom came back home
he seemed to see her dance
around the giant tree
where started their romance
but she hanged down from a branch
like a silver fish from a lence
the wind made swing the noose
tricking at first glance.
They wander amongst us
Great and Giant
Small and Slender
Subtle and Careful
They walk about
And Cruel all the same
They Are Here
The Things in the Trees
The Birds in the Air
They are Earth
And Earth is much Restless
Eternal sufferingshe looks at each tomb
she seeks the name of his first love
this man was nice and tender
he was aware of her past
he had never judged her crimes
kneeling before his grave, her hands immersed in this cursed land
she cries her sadness and her distress
I loved you, my angel
excuses me, I had not the choice
the abandonment was the only solution
In the Dead of NightAs your name leaves my lips
In the dead of night
A shiver runs down my spine
And not one of delight.
Your eyes, they haunt me
But not as much as before
Because day after day
I realize that perhaps it's not your slate blue eyes that haunt me....
But hazel and blue instead.
The sudden realization makes me sick
As I try in confusion to make sense of it.
The thoughts of them and the feelings...
My mask that I so carefully placed to prevent this
As their names leave my lips
In the dead of night
A shiver runs down my spine
And I don't know if it's one of delight.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More